Gelded youths held enthralled by corruption.

Everyone these days seems to have suddenly acquired the rank of statesman and renowned diplomat. Everyone seems to know the answers to all matters of state and are fully equipped to handle delicate matters that have troubled regions for scores of years. Everyone seems to know how it should be done except of course those who we have elected to carry out the said job. It is indeed surprising that a man who seems to know what the problems of his community are would rise up and bequeath his future, mortgaging the development of his children by electing and re-electing a well known criminal to handle the affairs of his community. 

Is this a curse, is it just ignorance or wilful stupidity? Like most things politics, there is no definite answer. Except of course that somehow God would deliver us from the shame we seem so anxious to throw ourselves into every four years. 

Social media has revolutionized the way we communicate, news is now stupendously incandescent and its sudden flash can and would be seen thousands of miles away in an instant. Rather than enlighten and make literate it seems to have brought to the fore the sheer stupidity of some. 

Reading blogs, news clips and interviews these days is one thing, reading comments underneath those blogs, news clips and interviews you come into a totally different world. A world populated by self acclaimed physicist , Doctors, Economist and Prophets. 

Reading the comments left by these people is extremely worrying as it is sad. It is one thing to listen to a veteran politician try to defend his corrupt practices, it is quite another to listen to a youth in his late twenties/early thirties argue mindlessly about how there isn't anything wrong in embezzling state funds, and who mindlessly applauds impunity and corruption. 

Progress and the future of a nation to a large extent depends on the calibre of its youths. Their literacy, state of mind, objectivity, hunger and desire for progress comes to the fore and from what I have seen and heard from my fellow youths I can only shudder in horror.

Our illiteracy is deep, lack of objectivity is legendary, dependency on God to do everything for us from buying us soap, to fetching us water, to giving us a bath and even drying us up afterwards and all we have to do is go to church on Sunday, and attend midweek service if we want Him to bless us by doing our shoe laces for us after He has dressed us up. 

We seem to have given up the gift of thought, we have sold away our right to common sense, all we aspire to now seems to be sudden piles of money, everything else is secondary even the right to life and the right to spend that money. The Nigerian youth seems to be held enthralled by corruption, lack of an appetite to ask questions and most annoying of all the insatiable desire to recognize buffoonery with loyalty and credence as long as the buffoon in question is an elected official. 

We have problems, and the least of these problems is the state of the Nation at present, compared to the mindset of the youthful population who; as is gradually being recognized, are inadequately equipped to take on or handle their own affairs.

Domination by a foreign entity is one thing, domination by ones own kind is sad. It leads to a deep seated lack of confidence, a gulf in reality slowly builds up and then the inevitable castration of ones desire and drive to be progressive. 

In this 21st century, the Nigerian youth is held enthralled by corruption and recklessness. Shock therapy is one way, albeit a crude way to bring a man back to his senses. But then, would you shock vitality back into a gelded stallion? How do you suddenly inspire a rush of blood in the veins of an Eunuch? I sincerely fear what may be when we are inevitably shocked out of this comatose state, if ever we are..

The gelding process is a one track road, and for each right we give up or each method of suppression we give into we take a step further down that path of inevitability. From then on what used to be a roar would be a whine, what used to be a neigh of freedom and accomplishment would become a grunt of contented delusion. 

Whatever it is, it is ours to decide. 

Thieves, Buffoons and a Harvard Educated Economist.

90% of the Nigerian political demography at present is comprised of Thieves, Buffoons and Harvard Educated Economists.

It is no news that the Nigerian Economy is haemorrhaging resources. With insecurity at an all time high investors are extremely skittish about setting up shop within her borders. Elections looming in 2015 further complicates the complexity of the general state of things. 

With allegations and counter allegations of fraud ricochetting about the place and the President showing a distinct lack of appetite on tackling corruption,  there seems to be no end to the level of impunity ravaging an already faltering economy. 

To think that at the helm of things economy-wise is sat, the co-coordinating minister of the economy and of Finance  Dr. Okonjo-Iweala who persistently insist that the Nigerian economy is fast growing, stable and holds monumental potential. 

The only potential outside investors see right now is a giant smouldering keg of gun powder simmering over west Africa, and a bevy of bungling politicians playing with match sticks seemingly oblivious to the fact that they are sat right in the middle of it all. At present they seem to be getting a high from the panicked oohs and aahs and looks of apprehension from the world around. 

Dr Iweala has seen her reputation torn to shreds mainly due to the fact that she has kept mum about a whole lot of goings on that have proved to be extremely detrimental to the economy. The pick of which is the non remittance of revenue by the NNPC to the Central Bank. A development that is not only constitutionally wrong, it is criminal.  

Perhaps the saddest part of it all is that we have one of our most brilliant economist being part of a government that is obviously out of its depth and being oblivious to or rather pretending to be oblivious to the actual state of events. Which forces one to bring to question her intentions and moral standing.

It is impossible to fill a basket with water a fact Dr Okonjo-Iweala has been consistently arguing against. 

Stemming the tide of sexual violence.

I have just listened to an extremely disturbing interview conducted by CNN with a rapist in Alaska. Alaska by the way has just emerged as being the State with the most incidents of rape and sex related violence.

The interviewee did mention that he only raped women when he was drunk and was not in full possession of his senses. He really spoke as though he deserved everyone's sympathy. I mean he had to deal with the inconvenience of the afterthought that he just raped someone. Entirely forgetting that somewhere some poor lady has just been permanently damaged for life. To me that sounded just cynical given the fact that it seemed any time he feels an itch he just proceeds to drink some spirit and latch unto his next victim.   

I just wondered if he has thought about another way of living his life without ruining the lives of countless victims for ever.

Possibly he could submit himself to be castrated, or sent to prison where some big fat sweaty ex-drug dealer rapes him three times a week, or get psychological help, or stop drinking. I mean there are loads of options he could pick from. Violently attacking and raping some poor lady cannot be in anyway a solution to appease his grotesque appetite when he is drunk.

Many societies have made the situation worse by trivialising the issue of rape and sexual violence. Third world countries stigmatise victims for having been raped. First world countries have reached a state of evolution on this matter such that people are now using the crime of rape for a wide range of factors. For every misplaced judgement, for every wrongful accusation, for every denial of justice this monster that is rape would continue to wreck havoc in our homes and society. 

Lets' kick it out. Show respect. No is No. No to date rape. Consent not coercion. Tenderness not violence. 

rape is a monster and you could leave yourself at its mercy if you do not take precautions for your well-being. All it would give you are the companionship of it's foot soldiers; depression, sadness, suicide, psychological trauma, stunted development and darkness. Having said this there are a lot of occasions where you inadvertently fall prey to it. In this situation find help. ASAP. If you don't it would fester on your psyche and could completely take control of you. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to keep walking. Find someone to talk to.

Let it out. 

Combating impunity.

Deterrent in every aspect of life is always preferable to punishment. It saves everyone a lot of time, resources and emotional stress. Saying that, it is only too obvious that much more should be invested in having a credible deterrent system in place in order to stem corruption, theft, graft and other forms of negative activities that plague our societies today. 

Screaming and whining about corruption is and never could be the answer. It is just like standing underneath a leaky roof and complaining about getting wet. You try to mop up and keep towelling yourself dry over and over again. All the while you are still standing underneath the leaky roof which you have made no effort to fix and no effort to step away from underneath it. 

You would save infinitely more by just fixing the hole in the roof and moving on with your life. In a lot of third world countries corruption has become not just a monumental setback but it is also damaging the chances of the coming generation. Bangladesh, Nigeria, Pakistan and Cameroon are a few examples. 

People in authority are constantly being accused of theft and bribery. Fact is they have the access and there is little or no deterrent in place to dissuade them. Making it difficult for politicians to steal should be a first step. Due process should be adhered to. Which is why in a few of these countries a variety of schemes have been put in place to ensure people become aware of proceedings and their duties. Although these schemes and processes like a whole lot of ventures before them have been warped and abused to benefit sitting politicians, I still do believe that they should be given a chance to work and a lot more effort should be put into them. 

Having said this the Nigerian Aviation ministry comes to mind. The checks and balances which were put in place to ensure the smooth running of the due process scheme did catch out the Aviation Minister. To the chagrin of many Nigerians and people who mean well for progress she is still a sitting minister. 

The Ministry of Finance has been feeding the populace with bogus figures and stats and hoping we would be too dumb to check and double check. The Petroleum Ministry has failed time and time again to remit funds from sale of crude to the Central bank and to cap it all up no one seems to know exactly what the President is doing or what his plans are for the development of the country.

This is a huge setback for the Nigerian state. A huge setback in the sense that one factor that can ruin any society, any institution, any organization is impunity. It is sad to say but the present Nigerian President is actually effectively promoting impunity by not taking action against his Minister. At this point his government has lost credibility hence all it has got to run up to the next election is just goodwill and the lack of appetite for anarchy from the populace.

All the same, we must support the present government as best we could to enable us exit this very dangerous period in our development.  

Reasons, assertions and expectations of matrimony...

"my most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." Winston Churchill

Decades after exchanging vows with his spouse this was what Sir Winston Churchill felt of his beloved wife. He had come to the conclusion that he had indeed been dealt a good hand by God. Without saying, in-between his wedding day and the day he made that statement, there would have been occasions when he feared the worst. There would have been dark moments and moments of curious silence, shadows and whims of betrayals, condescensions and subjugations. Times of cold feet and wanting to withdraw into the solace of his soul and singularity. But then, they remained ghost of alternate realities that were never realised and instead his relation blossomed into a steadfast friendship with his soul mate that lasted a lifetime. 

Marriage could be a statement of perceived love, a milestone, a rung on the career ladder, payment for a debt, a circumstance inside which the deranged cravings of lustful thoughts could be fed, the incorporation of a company to produce children,  the amalgamation and unification of houses and tribes, political statements or charades behind which an alternate reality is built. Marriage could be for any of these and a whole lot more. 

In each of these reasons the functions of the parties involved tend to differ. Expectations vary and outcomes are rarely similar. 

Sir Winston Churchill for whatever reason he married his spouse did find peace and gratitude. He found justification to his reasoning. From Churchill's point of view, he placed the decision making at the feet of his wife to be. All he had to do was to present her the best of himself and give her a peek into the future he envisioned for them both. She deciding it was a one way ticket worth investing her life into, she got aboard and never looked back to shore again. This arrangement was one based on the knowing fact that they would both sail together, swim together or (God forbid) drown together. 

On the other hand, Marilyn Munroe had a slightly different view of marriage, she was quoted as saying; 

"before marriage a girl has to make love to a man to hold unto him. After marriage she has to hold him to make love to him."

Abraham Lincoln said;

"marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is purgatory." 

A view Nietzsche who said; "It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." would strongly disagree with. 

Marriage though having a whole spectrum of meanings to different people has one constant, and that is two people abiding together, sadly everything else has become a variable. Variables based on reasons, reasons held secretly or openly by both parties and stakeholders. 

With these reasons come the inadvertent future expectation. Warped futures expected, feelings, desires and duties ignored. Gaps begin to appear and consequently are transformed rapidly into black holes that consume the institute and parties involved. 

Reasons are frequently veiled in promiscuity, shows of exuberance and the ever presence of friends and family. Eventually when all is said and done and both parties sit to commune the curtains are drawn and reality steps forth. At this point, two things happen, either and an alliance is formed outright or trenches are dug and positions established. Or worse a state of vegetative denial ensues. 

Love is a by product of trust, on ornament of hope, a heirloom of dedication, a hallowed feature of selflessness and the willingness to be true regardless of circumstances. It is everything and yet nothing without everything. Most importantly it grows with time, and it assumes its purest form in times of hardship, tribulations and periods of uncertainty. So in essence it is almost impossible to marry out of love given the fact that you would need a whole lot more than a trip to the Bahamas or a hot session of lust to know what it is to love someone. 

Hence for what reason should you get married? 

Is it to be a helper, a shoulder to cry upon, pity, career progression, spite, belief or children? 

Whatever your reason and to whoever you get married to, happiness, love, friendship, progress, children, bliss, laughter, joy, salvation are all products you and your spouse should spend the rest of your lives cultivating. These are products, they are delicious fruits with the sweetest of aromas and the most nutritious substances you could ever imagine. But, you have to roll up your sleeves and cultivate them upon the land of promise which is your marriage. There isn't a place called happily ever after, but I can tell you there is a fruit called bliss, thing is you have to grow it. And it takes a lot of commitment, trust, friendship, selflessness, sacrifice and belief. 

These are tools and instruments you can not possibly use if you do not possess. Similarly these are tools you should look for in the tool kit of a potential suitor. Is she/he committed, trust worthy, focused, friendly, selfless? Does she/he believe in you? In searching his/her tool kit, love doesn't come into it, reason does.

Advertising your promiscuity would only bring to the fore a veiled personality of his/hers, duly responding to your whims and caprices. 

Be yourself, make known your dreams, hopes, visions, expectations and a warm open heart. If she/he quails under the luminance of your countenance then possibly there is a hole inside of him/her that does not reflect your noble intentions and just maybe you should take a rain check, or tread with caution. In all of these never discount the likeability factor. For you indeed have to like someone before you could get close enough to make assertions and draw conclusions. 

After having said all of these, I still do believe marriage is a very delicate institute. It's purity ought to be maintained. Under its beauty negative energy wilts and fizzles away. In the same vein in the shadows of its discontentment and selfish endeavours of parties involved festers a dangerous precedent that could consume it, ruining the lives of all involved in the process. 

Be true to yourself and your spouse, the ship has left the port, you are both at sea, all distractions are either fish or salt water. Be committed, dedicated and trust worthy. It is a partnership, not a race, not a sulking contest. All you are required to do is sow trust and harvest a strong companionship, sow commitment and harvest likewise, bask in her/his essence and get a tan that the harrowing winds and salt water are unable to wash away. In all of this never forget to work night and day to cultivate love, more love and yet some more love. The beautiful thing about love is that it can grow in just about any circumstance. You just need to feed it constantly. You feed it with the very juicy petals of love you receive. Giving all you do receive and more is in itself the purest version of love.